Let's All Work for an Asset-Rich Community

Wednesday, May 19, 2004

(The View from Ellicott City) -- PHYLLIS GREENBAUM
May 19, 2004

You know the phenomenon. You become aware of a topic and suddenly everything you read and hear seems to relate to it.

It happened to me a couple of weeks ago. I had just left an all-day retreat entitled Connections: Strengthening Relationships Between Children, Teens and Adults in Howard County hosted by the Horizon Foundation's Ellicott City Council.

I was barely back at my desk late that afternoon downloading the day's email when my husband called to report the school shooting at Randallstown High School.

Here in our own county, the community was already abuzz about recent events at Mt. Hebron High School. And the trial for a former student at Centennial High was about to begin. You know the one, where the student poisoned to death a friend out of jealousy over a girlfriend.

Another related incident: today, May 20, just happens to be the sixth anniversary of the day Kip Kinkle shot his parents to death in his home. After spending the night with their dead bodies, intermittently chatting on the phone with friends, he set off to school and proceeded to shoot up his classmates, killing two, wounding 25.

And yet another: on Saturday, I read an editorial in the New York Times by David Brooks. It seems that after Brooks wrote a column on the 5th anniversary of Columbine, he received an email from Dylan Klebold's father. Klebold, you will remember, was one of the two boys responsible for that school massacre.

The Klebolds said they feel no need to be forgiven and didn't realize their son was beyond hope until after he was dead. "Dylan (Klebold) did not do this because of the way he was raised," Susan Klebold told Brooks. "He did it in contradiction to the way he was raised."

You may say it is merely coincidental that these various events have surfaced or re-surfaced lately. I disagree.

How could so many people ... parents, educators, clergy, friends ... not see these tragic events coming? Does respect for our children's privacy allow them to build an arsenal of weapons and hide it in their rooms? Does allowing them to make their own decisions mean it's okay to have sex in school?

We need to pay attention to the young people in our society, and we need to do it quickly! Not through hand wringing. Not through finger pointing. Through a focused community initiative to make our youngsters feel better about themselves, their community and their future.

The Horizon Foundation is already working on this in a partnership with The Search Institute in Minneapolis, which has developed a framework of building blocks and strategies called developmental assets. The Institute has identified 40 positive experiences and qualities that all young people need to grow up healthy and responsible. They're divided into external assets, such as support and empowerment, and internal assets, such as a commitment to learning and a positive identity.

The retreat I attended that Friday was just one in a series Horizon has held throughout the county to introduce the community to the concept of asset-building and to create a vision for what an asset-rich community would look like.

These retreats bring together leaders from various community, religious, business, education and health institutions in our county. Ellicott City's was attended by eight of the brightest, most focused and engaging students you'll ever want to meet from Burleigh Manor Middle School.

These youngsters had a jump on the rest of us. Burleigh Manor has formed its own partnership with Horizon Foundation to cultivate a thriving school culture through the Developmental Assets program.

Perhaps the most profound moments of Friday's retreat came when the middle school kids got together in the front of the room and shared their vision for an asset-rich community. Together, they described a world where people would be nice to each other and take the time to get to know one another. One youngster remembered being horrified when an older person was treated brusquely at a nursing home. Another expressed dismay at sales people at the mall who can't take the time to help their customers. These things may have upset these youngsters, but the good news is they're not so hard to fix.

You'd be surprised how much any one of us can do in our everyday lives, almost immediately. As Peggy Alexander, Youth Program Director for Horizon Foundation, said in an email following up on the retreat, "Assets is ... something we can always be practicing in our attitude and actions."

Here's what you can do (and what I'm making an effort to do every day): make eye contact with the young people you see in your neighborhood, in the mall, in the Giant. Even if you don't know them, they'll respond. You'll be surprised! While you're at it, pay them a compliment. Cool shoes! Nice purse! Good catch!

Volunteer to be a mentor for a young person. Encourage teenagers to take leadership roles in the various organizations you belong to: the PTA, a Board of Directors, your congregation.

There's a lot more we can do, and the Horizon Foundation will be presenting a plan of action in the fall of 2005. Watch these pages for further developments.

But don't wait. Our young people need our attention. They need our support. And they need it now.

Phyllis Greenbaum